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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Se7en


I got a letter from my little brother today.  He's in a Texas prison and I haven't talked to him in almost two years.  His letter made me realize how self-absorbed I've become; I haven't even sent him a postcard in all this time.  Thinking about him brought alot of other stuff up.  I'm ashamed of things I've done or haven't done.  The subject of this blog has been on my mind ever since I started back to church.

James 5:16 says "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

  • Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
    • I consider myself to be a very smart person and something that I have struggled with for years is reconciling what I KNOW with what the Bible teaches.  I had convinced myself that I didn't need God or Jesus because I was so smart that I could explain everything and didn't need faith
  • Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
    • Not even hard to identify, I'm jealous of you guys with a single cab truck or those of you who seem to go thru life so easily.  Every time I see someone running I crave that so much, even to the point of thinking and planning how I would spend my wishes if I found a genie.  I know in my head I'm in this position because of my own faults but I still desire what you have.  
  • Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
    • Anyone surprised by this?  I'm not.  The fact that I have been spending a THOUSAND dollars a month eating out should be the first clue.  Doing my budget this week has really opened my eyes to something that certainly isn't helping, I'll show you a portion to a specific place and believe me when I tell you the below image is both shocking and depressing, I'm so ashamed.  (Keep in mind this is just a record from my debit card, who knows how much I spent in cash there). 


  • Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
    • Sure I've lusted, the only problem is that most of the time it involved food.  Eating would give me satisfaction, even more than sex.  Somehow I have perverted food into something that I desire more than my wife.  And that's not an indictment on her, it's on me.  I'm disgusting, I know.
  • Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
    • Anger is something I've dealt with all my life.  I've scared strangers, children, my wife and myself with how mad I can get so quickly.  It's like I snap, I become a different person and I know that it comes from not having enough healthy habits in my life to show me how to deal with something constructively.  Something I've never admitted is I get mad about food.  Like if someone gets my order wrong at the drive-thru, I've thrown it back at them and other similarly embarrassing and degrading things that should not define who I am. 
  • Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
    • This one is hard for me because to the outsider, I've very generous.  I'll pay for things when out with people, I'll refuse to be "owed" anything and am a very good tipper.  The problem is it's a front, it's a form of Pride for me, I want to LOOK like a generous person when on the inside I'm hoarding my cash like Scrooge McDuck.  Something that's especially hard is tithing to church, convincing myself to give hundreds of dollars instead of saving it for an emergency (like nachos) is really going to take some work.
  • Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
    • Again, not a surprise, I'm lazy.  My best friend is the TV and my lover is the DVR.  I know in my brain that I have to get up and get active but my body says no, the excuses take over and I don't do anything.  Something I'm trying to do is cancel our Cable so I won't be tempted but my wife is fighting it (if you know her, send her a message and tell her I need this).  
    • There so many things I could do that I'm not:
      • parking further away from the door
      • taking the stairs 
      • use the free fitness equipment at my apartment
      • go talk to people instead of emailing
    • I personally know this to be the most important thing that I need to fix, I'm doing pretty good on the eating right now and will continue that, but I need activities and I'll work on the Pride thing too, I'll ask for help:  Will you help me?  I need someone to go walking with, someone to encourage me to get off my butt more often, someone to show up when I'm feeling down and someone to kick my butt when I think it's time to quit.  I asked this before and it worked for a bit but moving put a damper on things.  Previous Post
OK, that's done and I feel better.  If anything in this blog scared you, disgusted you, encouraged you, worried you or whatever, please let me know.  You can leave a comment here or find me on Facebook under Thomas Morgan aka Iceman.T.Morg or follow me on Twitter @Thimecules


BTW - What's in the box?


1 comment:

  1. Thomas, Very good sharing I felt it really was from the heart. The Word states: "The Steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord". I know Father God prepared Florida and your steps a long time ago and I do believe you and Angela are exactly were you all are ordained to be. Look forward to reading more good stuff. Love ya Richard

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