re·birth[ree-burth, ree-burth] Show IPA
a new or second birth: the rebirth of the soul.
a renewed existence, activity, or growth; renaissance orrevival: the rebirth of conservatism.
Yesterday I had what some would call an epiphany or realization. I had a moment of clarity, a decision, a determination that I cannot continue. It's time for this blog to reach it's true purpose, to showcase the new me. One of the problems I had before was all I did was claim I was new, I didn't go through the process. And to begin with, I need a rebirth: a renewed existence. Metaphorically of course, I have no desire to be pushed through a birth canal again. What I mean is I need a spark, a moment, something I can point to and say, that was it, that the time I started over. Getting hospitalized is not it, that was not optional. Deciding to quit smoking the first time wasn't it, that was a choice. I need my moment.
Tonight I got out of my chair and put my shoes on, walked out the door into the pouring rain and went to the gym. I wish I could say I worked my butt off but alas, I got winded on the way there. Plus I couldn't see. Once there I put 50 pounds on the the overhead bar and did 100 pull-downs. I think that's the name of it, I've never been one for knowing what an exercise is called. It was this machine:
After that I tried to use the stationary bike but couldn't get it going, the pedals were too close together and I'm not built for that angle. Guess that puts an end to my desire for a bike. At least it means I don't have to want one for a while. Finally I went to the sauna and steamed for a half hour, got all hot and sweaty (imagine Fat Bastard from Austin Powers: "GET IN MY BELLY"). Then I walked home.
It was during this walk home that I had this rebirth idea, the cold rain washing over me felt fresh, I felt new. I felt like this could the moment when I change everything. I loved it, I haven't purposefully walked in the rain in over 20 years and here I was, laughing my ass off coming home. It's the real deal now, I'm making the commitment to myself, screw you guys, it's not for anyone else, but me.
Here's my list of things I'm committing to doing, and I will be updating this list as it happens:
1. Watch less than one hour or less of television per day, I'll start by deleting my DVR settings of some shows that I watch but could do without: Bones, House, 2 Broke Girls, Merlin, Dual Survivor, Castle, Psych, Awake, America the Wild, Rules of Engagement, NYC 22, Wicked Tuna. (Is anyone else surprised I'm in the shape I'm in keeping up with that much TV?) I'll keep a couple of my favorites: Swamp People and Big Bang Theory as a reward but will not sit down as soon as I get home to watch them.
2. Earlier in this post I alluded to getting out of my chair and going to walk. Why do I have a chair? Why did I spend $400 on something to sit my fat ass on? If I don't have the chair, I can't sit. If I can't sit, I have to get up. Reminds me of Jim Jefferies: NSFW - LANGUAGE I'm going to get rid of my chair, either sell or donate but it's gone. Anyone want a brown microfiber chair and a half?
3. Weekly weigh-ins. Last year I was so looking forward to my weigh-ins to check my progress, I would make special trips to the gym on my day off. I have used the excuse that I can't find one here as a reason to ignore it. But here's the catch, every weight loss surgeon in the area has a scale that will work for me and let me use it for free. One guy in particular has already told me even if I'm not interested in surgery he would like to talk to me so I'm going to weigh-in tomorrow and will publish the result, even if it's scary (which I'm pretty sure it will be).
4. Positive attitude. Last night's post was full of excuses and self-pity. That's not helpful or healthy. I am going to be s ray of sunshine, I'm going to stop dwelling on the negative and will become a YES! MAN. No longer will I deny something because I'm depressed or worried about being the fattest person in the room. (I'm already the biggest SOB in the state of Florida, why try to hide?)
So as you can see, I rambled quite a bit again but that's my style. I'm going to do better, I'm going to fix this or die trying. I'm not content to die without effort! Besides, no one wants to come to my funeral and stare as a refrigerator size casket, do they? Good night and tomorrow is a new day and the new me is looking forward to it!!!