What do you miss?

In celebration of losing 11 pounds this week, I have decided to share with you one of my proudest moments.  Please see the below IM conversation and let me know what you think,.  I may write a book...  

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

oops there was bacon on my keyboard

Thomas says:

I'm trying to think of something to say in response that couldn't be construed as possibly offensive.  damn that I'm your boss

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

And why now would u behave?

lol

a piece of bacon fell off my breakfast sandwich

lol

but since ur in love with bacon I had to share

Thomas says:

and i appreciate it!

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

Well u and Chandler put it out there

Thomas says:

oh yeah

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

becca wants u to get bacon therapy

Thomas says:

i used to raise pigs

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

lmao

Thomas says:

and would pet them like dogs

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

stop

lmao

Thomas says:

my three favorite were named "Bacon, Sausage, and pork chop"

i raised them for a year

fed them table scraps

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

then u had them for breakfast

Thomas says:

bought feed

cleaned their pens like you would a cat box, except with a shovel instead of a scooper

put down fresh hay

they would come up to me like puppies,

I would scratch their bellies

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

Jesus, what movie is this from

Thomas says:

and sometimes, we would even go for walks in the woods, I would tie some rope around their necks and just go enjoy the sunshine

i actually enjoyed spending time with them, they became like my kids

then, one day, in early fall, I brought a pickup load of corn home

like deer corn, you know?

I began adding a bucket of corn to their feed a day

slowly, the pure corn made them bulk up

you could see them getting fatter, putting on weight in the shoulders and rump

their bellies began drooping a little,

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

LMAO

urkilling me

Thomas says:

and every time I looked at them, they seemed to look back with a knowing smile

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

No one believes the IM convos you and Chandler trap me in!

Thomas says:

as if, as if. as if they KNEW what was going on

in the mornings, they no longer jumped up on the fence when I came out, they just sat back and stared at me

I began having trouble getting in the pens with them

they were getting big, and were acting rough

slowly, I think they began to resent me

like intuition sparked something in them

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

OMG

STOP IT!

Thomas says:

then one day, when they reached about 200 pounds, I backed the trailer to the pen

I tried to lure "bacon" inside with a plate of potato peelings and apple cores, her favorite

but she refused to go

then I tried chasing them inside

they wouldn't budge

Since I knew it was time, i resorted to harsher measures

I hit them

I used a stick, slapped them across the withers, and on the rump

it made me cry a little

and I can tell, it made them cry too

slowly, one by one, they walked up the ramp

bacon last of all, and right before crossing the threshold, she turned her head back to look at me, and I swear, there was a little piggy tear in the corner of her eye

like I was a traitor, I had betrayed them

with a heavy heart, I swung the gate closed.  the sound it made on that cold morning as it shut was like a prison door

CLANG

it made all of us jump

I latched it securely, and walked towards the front

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

wtf is with u

Thomas says:

trailing my hand across the backs of my best friends on the way

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

Mark is enjoying his lil bedtime story

he is crying a bit for poor lil bacon

Thomas says:

I got behind the wheel of the truck, hesitating before starting it up

"Was I doing the right thing?"

"Do I have to do this?"

finally, I steeled my nerves, started the pickup and turned the radio on full blast, to try and drown the screaming and crying

my own screaming and crying

the place I was taking them too was about an hour away

that's a long time to think about something this final

10 times, I wanted to stop and turn around

10 times, I made myself not

every time I looked in the mirror, i saw my little ones

but they weren't sad

they had resigned themselves to this eventuality

they knew it was unavoidable

that made me smile

that if they could accept it, so could I

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

your going to therapy!

Thomas says:

I began whistling to myself, trying to lift my spirits

and it began to work, I was daydreaming, of me and the pigs

running thru the woods, digging up mushrooms, splashing in the creek

just laying on the warm grass, looking up at the clouds

it was at that moment that I knew, there was no going back

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene just sent you a nudge.

Thomas says:

that everything had come down to this

it was time

I reached our destination and backed up to the unloading dock

I was prepared for another fight when unloading but to my surprise, everyone trotted out with no problem

Pork Chop even nuzzled my hand when I reached in to pet him

as if to say, "It's OK, you're not to blame"

once inside, i couldn't bear to watch, I had to watch, I couldn't, I did.

I began to cry, huge racking sobs shook my body, and then it was over

then I was driving home

looking in the mirror, wanting to see three pink little faces

only seeing blue igloo coolers...

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

OMG

Thomas says:

and that was the moment

that was the moment that I truly knew

that moment, that with such clarity, made me realize,

bacon is never gone

everything is about bacon. 

Amanda-MC/WFM Abilene says:

I hate you